I guess I’m missing the point because I just don’t have the sympathy for the Cop-About-To-Retire-But-Has-To-Work-This-One-Last-Case storyline. When I was in High School, teachers complained that the seniors became restless and whiny, affecting something they called “Senioritis,” a general lack of concern with schoolwork and frequent absences in the last few weeks leading up to Commencement.
This whininess is in full force throughout the film “Clerks” as Dante laments the fact that he wasn’t even supposed to be there. Randall finally calls him out for whining “like a little bitch.” Why doesn’t someone call out these cops for bemoaning the fact they actually have to work until the end of their last day? Is it because they have a gun?
Whining about work is a close tie with Baseball’s status as the great national pastime. Whining isn’t a spectator sport; everyone can complain. Many people who watch these films relate to their own experience of resenting their work, impatiently waiting for their paycheck and a chance to kick back and drink beer.
Despite frequent paperwork, the nature of office work and cop work are quite different. Normally, cops have chosen their work because they either have an altruistic desire to protect the general public from harm, or they want access to the evidence room. In contrast, most people have chosen office work because they couldn’t think of anything else better to do. As opposed to the general public, cops actually have a reason to wake up in the morning. For this difference, the writers think it’s necessary to add in the hackneyed retirement storyline.
The worst part is when they whine about how they went for a number of years and never had to fire their gun (at someone) once. Shouldn’t they be glad they actually got a chance to use it? If you had to carry a few extra pounds of metal on your hip, day in and day out, and had to clean it periodically, wouldn’t you itch for the chance to whip it out and fire?
I know there are many more examples of the retiring cop in films and popular entertainment. What really set me off is my recent rental of “Alien Trespass.” Dan Lauria’s character is a few days from retirement, droning on about his idyllic, uneventful tenure as a policeman in California’s Mojave Desert. Along the same lines is “Lethal Weapon.” Although I’ve never seen it, I was vaguely aware that Danny Glover’s character is near retirement and isn’t interested in adventure. From minimal reading on the subject, it seems he routinely moans “I’m too old for this shit.” I’d see it, but it is part of a genre I tend to avoid: Buddy Cop films.
In many films, the cop is eager to solve the case—even if it is “the last case.” When used in this way, the retired/just about to retire device is really just distracting. It must be for more sympathy, but it just gets in the way. In Blade Runner, Harrison Ford (Deckard) plays a retired cop who takes that “one last job.” It’s not so dreadful in this case because he is sent to “retire” replicants. What I can’t forgive about this film is the overwhelming number of re-cut versions. I can hardly remember what happened in the original ending. (Who the hell does Ridley Scott think he is, George Lucas?!?!)
In other films that come to mind, the retiring cop’s love for his work is renewed on this one last case. In Falling Down, Robert Duvall’s character is working on his last day and he misses the cake and stripper. He’s actually enthusiastic about this last case, despite everyone else’s obsession about this being his last day. In Cellular, William H. Macy’s character is so near retirement, he’s receiving shipments for supplies for the day spa he plans to operate with his wife. Just as in Falling Down, he is eager for the last case while his wife is falling to pieces about it and being rather shrill in the process. In Se7en, Morgan Freeman’s character is also near retirement.
Some cops go one step further and put their lives on the line, while their lives are near an end. Not only was Denzel Washington’s quadriplegic character retired, he was awaiting an assisted suicide in The Bone Collector. Clint Eastwood’s post-surgery and frequently napping character in Blood Work tracks down a killer despite his obvious handicap—and both characters go without the irritating whining which is their right in such a condition.
Despite my general avoidance of buddy cop films, Hot Fuzz is one of the best films I have seen. A comedic homage to the action genre, Simon Pegg’s character is actually too enthusiastic about his work; this gives him little time for a life. This stark contrast to the slacker sympathy of the standard cop film is a breath of fresh air. It also shows that it is possible to make a great film about a cop who isn’t about to retire.
